In tests, six out of ten little boys wanted to murder the lobster. Straws had to be drawn and a stool provided for the chosen executioner to drop the lobster into the pot of boiling water. This was in Suffolk, mind you, and for all I know they may be a particularly bloodthirsty bunch at the primary school in Orford.
The background to this act of homaricide (carried out in an RSPCA-approved fashion) is this: every term we invite a dozen or so children from our village school to the Crown & Castle (my hotel) for a cookery demonstration followed by lunch. This term, the subject has been molluscs, crustacea and cephalopods, otherwise known as shellfish. The kids have seen, handled, eaten (and sometimes killed) all kinds, from cockles and clams to lobsters and langoustines.
A few of them recoiled in horror when we put a bowl of moules marinière in front of them
What’s so marvellous is the children’s extraordinary enthusiasm and willingness to try almost everything. A few of them recoiled in horror when we thrust a bowl of moules marinière in front of them, but I was really surprised at how many of them oohed and aahed with anticipatory pleasure; only clams proved a little difficult. A particular hit was scampi, which they now know is exactly the same thing as langoustines and Dublin Bay prawns. Rather more importantly, they can now see the difference between the deep-fried, breadcrumbed (and normally pretty dire) scampi they see at the fish and chip shop, and the real thing: freshly boiled, shelled and eaten – still warm – with a glug of olive oil and a good squeeze of lemon juice.
I suspect quite a few adults would also benefit from some tuition, as there are so many misconceptions about shellfish – not least the common belief that you can only ever eat oysters when there’s an ‘r’ in the month. It’s true that native oysters (the pale, flat type) can only legally be caught between September and April when they are not spawning (they don’t taste too good when they’re spawning, anyway). But the craggy, Gordon Ramsay-faced, farmed rock oysters are more freely available – and much cheaper. Whether it’s January or June, you can eat these plump beauties with impunity.
That said, there is one rule to eating raw oysters: never accompany them with spirits, as they interfere with our digestion of the bivalves; instead, have a glass of chablis.
There’s also a common belief that shellfish are high in cholesterol. The Shellfish Association cites recent research that discovered that ‘sterols found in crustaceans, which were originally reported as cholesterol, are actually beneficial sterols akin to those in cholesterol-lowering plant oils’. So much for that belief.
I love squid, either braised with chorizo stuffing or quickly deep-fried in the Greek bar style
Something else that needs scotching is the idea that squid is tough and rubbery. Well, it is if you cook it for more than a few minutes but less than half an hour: this in-between period is the troublespot. But when it’s cooked properly – braised with a chorizo stuffing, say, or quickly deep-fried in batter, Greek bar-style – it’s absolutely delicious.
A lot of shellfish has a natural affinity with pork, which is why in these recipes I’ve teamed pancetta with scallops, and ham with the squid in a risotto – they go in at the end, so the risotto’s texture remains silky smooth.
If the fabulous flavour, diversity and adaptability of shellfish doesn’t convince you to buy it, then its ecological correctness might tip the balance. Cold water prawns are not viewed as being under threat and if you buy farmed British mussels and oysters, and British crab, you can eat this wonderful food with a clear conscience and a delighted palate.