‘Breakfast bap’ mazemen

In a bowl, stir together the brown, Worcestershire and soy sauces with the mirin and ketchup, then divide between two wide bowls. Fry the bacon in a nonstick frying pan over a medium-low heat, turning frequently, until crisp and browned (about 15 minutes). Transfer to a kitchen paper-lined plate. Add the sausagemeat to the pan; stir fry over a medium-high heat for a few minutes, breaking up the meat with a spoon or spatula, so it forms small pieces. Cook until browned with no pink meat remaining (about 8 minutes), then transfer to a shallow bowl along with any rendered fat; set aside.

Allow the pan to cool for a few minutes, then add ½ the butter and set over a low heat. Once melted, add the beaten eggs, then slowly scramble with a spatula, stirring often, until very, very loosely set – imagine you are making a hollandaise (or similar) but allowing it to curdle. When the eggs have a custard-like consistency, stir through the remaining butter and continue to cook gently until the mixture resembles a loose, creamy scramble.

Meanwhile, cook the noodles according to pack instructions. Drain and rinse briefly under hot running water, then drain again and tip into the bowls with the seasoning sauce in the base. Top each pile of noodles with a slice of cheese, followed by the sausagemeat and a spoonful or two of the fat, then the scrambled eggs. Break the bacon into small chunks and scatter on top, along with the chives and plenty of freshly ground black pepper. Add hot sauce to serve, or vinegar if you prefer less heat. To eat, mix very well with chopsticks, using a lifting and folding motion to draw up the sauce from the bottom and coat the noodles.